I've narrowed my list of medical schools down to 28. Wow, that's a lot. It's going to get expensive. Of course, once I get my MCAT scores back, I'm sure I'll be eliminating a few schools.

Waiting for these scores is enough to kill me. Everything rests on them, and I really can't make a move until I know what they are. If they're good, I can start applying to medical schools. If they're bad, I need to start looking at other options. So far, the only option I'm remotely interested in is a psychology graduate program. I should probably start looking at biology or chemistry programs, too. But, before I can apply to graduate school, I need to take the GRE (which means I need to study for the GRE).

I'm really annoyed with my advisor right now. I feel like I'm totally flying blind. Yeah, I should take the initiative to figure everything out, but I really feel like she hasn't done her best to help me prepare for everything. I have no clue what I'm doing, but I'm basically deciding the rest of my life. A little help would be greatly appreciated.

Once I know my MCAT scores, I'll be able to sit down and plan everything out. I just have to wait another 2 weeks for those...Then I can move on.

School starts on Monday, and I am really dreading it.

Here's the med school list so far. I figure I can track it here and eliminate them (or the entire list, if need be) as necessary.

NAME	PLACE	GPA	MCAT
University of Texas	Houston, TX	3.66	9.5
University of Oklahoma	Oklahoma City, OK	3.68	9.6
University of Arizona	Tucson, AZ	3.67	9.9
University of Kentucky	Lexington, KY	3.58	9.7
University of Utah	Salt Lake City, UT	3.64	9.5
University of Washington	Seattle, WA	3.65	10.4
Wake Forest University	Winston-Salem, NC	3.63	10.1
Albany Medical College	Albany, NY	3.50	9.8
East Tennessee State University	Johnson City, TN	3.63	9.3
Jefferson Medical College	Philadelphia, PA	3.57	10.4
Loyola University Chicago	Maywood, IL	3.62	9.9
Southern Illinois University Springfield	Springfield, IL	3.50	8.8
SUNY Syracuse	Syracuse, NY	3.54	9.8
SUNY Buffalo	Buffalo, NY	3.57	9.7
University of New Mexico	Albuquerque, NM	3.59	9.5
University of North Carolina Chapel Hill	Chapel Hill, NC	3.65	10.6
University of Tennessee	Memphis, TN	3.58	9.3
East Carolina University	Greenville, NC	3.50	9.0
Eastern Virginia Medical School	Norfolk, Va	3.45	10.1
George Washington University	Washington DC	3.56	9.3
Medical University of South Carolina	Charleston, SC	3.59	9.5
University of South Carolina	Columbia, SC	3.55	9.2
University of South Florida	Tampa, FL	3.68	9.7
Howard University	Washington DC	3.35	8.0
Indiana University	Indianapolis, IN	3.68	9.9
New York Medical College	Valhalla, NY	3.50	10.0
Temple University	Philadelphia, PA	3.59	10.0
Texas A&M University	College Station, TX	3.73	9.3

Wow, it's been a while. So, I was supposed to take the MCAT on July 13, but I didn't feel ready for the writing and verbal reasoning sections. So I put it off until August 9. And on Thursday, I actually, finally, for real sat down and took the Medical School Admission Test. Hooray?

If I stayed consistent with the scores I got on the two practice tests I took, I'll be happy. I was scoring 9-10 on the physical sciences, biological sciences, and verbal reasoning. We'll keep our fingers crossed and find out the scores in about 30 days. I feel fairly confident with most of the test. I'm pretty sure my second writing essay sucked, but I sure can't do anything about it now.

I've spent my entire summer studying. My last free summer. I hope it was worth it... I don't even want to think about it anymore.

It's so amazing to be done with school and to actually have time to just read.  Not read abnormal psychology, not wading through instrumental analysis chapters...just to read a novel that I won't be tested over, ever.  I have missed fiction these last few months.  Oh, it's absolute heaven!

I've recently discovered author Jodi Picoult.  I rarely venture outside the circle of my favorite fiction writers, but I'm very glad I did.  She writes amazing stories.  You almost can't even call them stories...they're so close to real life.  So far, I've read Salem Falls and The Tenth Circle.  Tonight I bought Plain Truth.  And, while there are certain aspects of her novels that I could do without, Jodi Picoult is now in my circle.  She writes human relationships like no other author I've ever read.  And somehow, even when she is dealing with incredibly difficult, unforgiving, he-said-she-said topics, she manages to get both sides in and balance the characters out.  The miracle of her writing is that she does this realistically.

Oy, I'm happy to be done with school.

So this shooting at Virginia Tech has really rattled everybody.  My chemistry teacher is bringing it up in class and encouraging us to talk about it and express our opinions.  I thought I didn't want to think about instrumentation at 7:45 AM, but I've decided I really don't want to contemplate the most recent school shooting at that hour.

I was in 8th grade when the Columbine shooting happened.  Not really the best way to introduce kids to high school.  We had kids at my junior high threatening to out-do Columbine.  Then I got to high school, and we had a kid tell his buddy he was bringing a gun to school because this girl didn't like him.  Thankfully, the administration found out and he never had the chance to show up to school packing heat.  Then I left high school and I just assumed that I didn't have to worry about the whole school shooting thing.  After all, we're in college now.  We're past this crap.  Right?

Wong, apparently.  I am finding out there have actually been quite a few shootings on college campuses.  They're just not always front page news.  Until you go and kill 32 people.  Then you deserve to have Glenn Beck and Chris Matthews and Shephard Smith talking about you and your crime for weeks.

Of course, we all just automatically assumed that the shooter obtained his guns illegally.  It seems that he didn't.  He went through all the proper channels and purchased his guns legally.  So what now?  More gun control? More background checks?  Or should we just let all the students carry guns, because then someone could have stopped this psycho?

I'll tell you, I'm pretty sick and tired of everyone else telling us we have problems with gun control.  Seriously.  We know this.  I think even die hard NRA guys realize that there is something wrong with our gun laws; they're just not willing to give anything up.  I'm all for the second amendment.  To quote a Veronica Mars episode: "Totally. the second amendment is, like, my favorite."  Or not.  But honestly, we do not need every one else telling us how stupid our constitution is.  Keep it to yourselves.  At least for a little while.  We just lived through this shooting.  We don't have to option of reading about it in the London Times and thinking, "Oh, those stupid Americans.  If only they didn't have those stupid amendments. Bear arms? Please. Like I need to protect myself from anyone over here in perfect Britain."  I read a quote today that said something to the effect of even if we had stricter gun control laws (like waaaay stricter, like no one could carry guns), America would still have more homicides than Britain.  Um, gee, ya think?  And only because we Americans are bloodthirsty bastards who kill for fun.  It has nothing to do with the fact that we're bigger than the UK?  Or that we maybe have more people? It's easy statistics, folks.  If you increase the sample size, you're gonna see more of whatever it is that you're looking at.  Ergo: the US will have more homicides than Britain because there is a larger  sample population.  It's not that hard to figure out.

We are trying to enforce stricter gun control laws.  Unfortuneately, the whole "where there's a will, there's a way" cliche still applies.  Tighten the laws, and there will still be really bad people getting a hold of guns.  As long as there is demand, there will be supply.  There will always be bad people selling illegal guns for a price, because they know there will always be people willing to buy them.  And then, the problem is that the bad people have illegal guns, and the good people can't get guns.  Huh. Sucks to be the good people, I guess.

I'm feeling very bitter right now.

Well, at least my abnormal psych paper is done.

I just got a text message that my friend Melisa's water broke at 11:00 last night. Baby Lockhart should join the world sometime today. I'm so excited for her!

So far, I've found that his birthday, if it's today, will fall on Act Happy Day and National Chocolate Carmel Day. Pretty good holidays...

Registration for fall classes was today. I think I'm gonna be all psychologied (psychologyed? psycholog-ed?) out next semester. I have Human Development I, Behavior Management, Experimental Psychology, Psychological Counseling, and Physical Chemistry. Whoopee. Hopefully, I can fit the Forensic Chemistry class into my schedule, just to shake things up a bit. That's a lot of psychology...

I got sick last October. Nothing really major. Just a head cold really. It didn't move into my chest and it didn't escalate into a sinus infection. But, since then, I have completely and totally lost my sense of smell.

This is a good thing when we are touring the waste water treatment plant and playing with the dirty water in lab. Otherwise, not so good. Also, it's just not normal for an otherwise healthy 21 year old to just lose her sense of smell. So I finally made an appointment with an ENT doctor. Luckily, it's probably not a brain tumor (AKA esthesioneuroblastoma. How much fun is that word?!). But I still don't know why I can't smell. The inside of my nose is inflammed. Why? Maybe that's just how my nose is. Or maybe it's a bacterial infection that has been festering since October. The inflammation may be cutting off the blood supply to the olfactory nerves. Gen bio, folks. When nerves don't get blood, they die. And nerves don't regenerate as much as we would like them to. So it could be permanent. But it might not be.

Or he said I could have a thyroid problem. I'm kinda rooting for this one. A dysfunctional thyroid would explain why I'm always so damn tired. And it would give me an excuse for being so tired all the time, other than school and work and all that jazz. I would have a legitimate, medical reason for falling asleep in statistics. And it would be another explanation for the mild weight gain other than the cheesburgers I eat. Or it would at least account for some of it.

And I learned that I have a crooked septum. How comforting. I hope they don't put that in my medical file.

On the bright side, I had my very first CT scan today. I thought I was on an episode of House.

Here's a fun little list:

To blog: copy the list and...
* Bold the ones you’ve read
* Italicize the ones you want to read
* Leave blank the ones that you aren’t interested in
* Highlight those you haven't heard of
* Put a couple of astericks by the ones you recommend

1. The DaVinci Code (Dan Brown)**
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)**
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)**
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)**
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)**
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)**
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)**
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)*
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)*
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)**
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. Teh Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. The Bible**
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy) (see #2)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)**
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)**
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)**
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)**
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)**
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According to Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte's Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)**
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down(Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)**
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)**
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)